MscLvr1996

So here's my life: 

1) broke it off with my fiance because of a lot of reasons. Namely lying and him deciding to stay where he was working out of state. 
2) I'm actually really happy, ready to bust into the life I want. 
3) I've been writing again, and I'm so happy I'm getting into it. 
4) In February I moved to Oregon, and I couldn't be happier about it. The scenery and environmental energy is so relaxing. 
5) I am finishing college (ha. ha ha.) as a non-traditional transfer student, keeping my degree in Anthropology and minor in History.
6) I'm going to be posting snippets of different books I'm writing, mostly iffy chapters I'm not sure about. I'm pretty much done with photography for the most part, that had a time in my life I'll never forget, but most likely won't pursue again. 

For those of you that have stayed with me for the multitude of years I've been on this platform, I appreciate you. I miss you guys. And I'm eager to get back in the game on the art and presence this platform holds. 

Much love. 

Sooo... since I'm 21 does that mean I don't have to do homework anymore? Can I go get a job that pays okay and be a real adult now and worry about money and keeping my house clean instead? 

Please? 

Okay fine, guess I'm back to paying out the nose for this ... lol

Okay, so I don't need anyone to read this, I just need to say, or at least type, out loud for a second. K, thanks. 

My immediate family moved across the country two weeks ago tomorrow. And I was doing okay. I cried, yeah, but I really was doing okay, until fucking tonight. My family and I are EXTREMELY close, and I can't go out to Oregon with them because I'm stuck in fucking college until May. The same college that is completely driving me to madness. 

They put up their Christmas tree today and I'm not there. And I can't vent on Facebook (never one to really put it out in front of people who actually know me... ironic, I know), and I can't vent to my two closest friends because they're dealing with problems of their own, one of which is over 1,000 miles away from anyone she knows for graduate school. I'm just fucking depressed. I hate college, yet I'm four fucking classes, a semester, away from graduating. I hate this fucking state because it's all I know, and aside from my fiance (this wonderful man is sleeping next to me and I don't have the heart to ugly cry to him right now because he has to get up for work in the morning), I have one single friend I give a flying fuck about in this state. And a huge chunk of my fucking bleeding heart is 1,300 miles away. And I can't be there. We are all scrounging up the money to go to see them for Christmas, and the more time goes on the further from Christmas it'll be before we're even out there... I'm 21, almost 22, god damn years old, and when they lived just 100 miles away I'd still make time to see them every other weekend, and I'd be upset if it was more than that. You guys, I feel like I'm just drowning. I'm so pissed I'd probably punch the next person I see if I didn't want charges pressed and end up messing with the law during finals week. 

And you want to know the part that just pisses me off even worse? Anytime I mention how much it bothers me, mutual acquaintances in my classes will say "my family is on the east coast, at least you get to see them", "I don't know why you'd want to unless they give you money for everything. You're spoiled, aint you?", "dude I haven't seen my family since June, you're fine".... I literally have never said I have it worse than anyone else. I can be upset Susan.... 

And fucking hell I have a final tomorrow, two papers, and two website drafts due by 3-fucking-pm. Just when I'm getting started on working on that shithole of a mess, my mother (bless her sweet heart) tags me in Christmas pictures and of course, true to the dumbass I am, I look at them. So here I am. Venting at the computer. Silent. Because there's nothing else I can fucking do. 

Anyways, if you did read all of this... bro I'm sorry lol thanks for reading I guess. Hope y'alls night is better, and if it isn't, I'm so god damn sorry, and I would crush you with a hug and give you the choco chip cookies I made today if it helped. 

Here's to you guys that care, and for you that don't, join the fucking club... *sigh* much love from this hot mess. 

So, a LOT OF SHIT has happened since I've been on here last, over a year ago.... SO, sit back, grab some food and drinks, and listen here to my caffeine-fueled bitching extravaganza!!! 

Imma put it in list format so it's easier and I don't derail as often lol

1) the guy I was dating last I was on here, turns out he was cheating on me the whole fucking time. 
2) a couple of months after my last journal, I ended up having an early miscarriage, which said asshole wasn't around for. I'm okay, and open to talking about it if anyone else needs to discuss a similar personal experience  
3) the bitch ass decided to date another girl I introduced him to, she's now knocked up and his parents are forcing him to marry her. I guess he got his comeupance *shrug* lol
4) After a dramatic and drawn out process of leaving the guy, turns out she had the same flight to see him over Thanksgiving as I did... guess that's how he was going to let me know *eyeroll* 
5) A little while after this, I met the love of my life... Truly. Genuinely. In the five years I've been on dA, I've talked about my "Love live" and how much this person meant to me. Well, he's the real deal. Enough so I'm marrying him next year
6) I'm about to graduate college this upcoming May
7) We're also trying for a baby of our own.... 
8) oh and we had to move because of evictions and shitty family SEVEN times in the last year, but we finally have a little place of our own  
9) I have full ownership over my two kitties, they are mine and I love them, DON'T FIGHT ME OVER CALLING THEM MY FUR-BABIES. THEY ARE AND THEY ARE LOVED. 
10) He woke me up with coffee and kisses, so yeah, y'all be jealous  

okay, so I think I got that all covered. There's probably more I'm forgetting, but oh well lol 
Love y'all, stay fucking classy my friends :* 

-MscLvr1996

Okay, so it's been a year since I've been on and most of you are probably wondering what the crap happened to me (if you weren't just humor me and pretend that you did). 

Well I have the answer: College. 

Anyway, Here I am, I am alive, and I'd like to think I'm back for a while at least  

Hit me up if you wanna catch up - I feel bad for neglecting some of my friendships with y'all....